3 steps so the screens don't take over

This week I want to talk about creative ways to wrangle your distracted screen time in 3 steps:

1. Take note of your screen time at home—phones, TV, tablets, computer, etc.

2. Identify your screen-time moments of weakness.

3. 1 innovative DIY way to manage screen time.

Zero people I've talked to think they have a healthy relationship with screens & devices. Apps & entertainment are designed to provide dopamine hits to addict you to distraction.

But once you understand how to design your relationship with screens, you'll discover extra free time and more mental clarity—and you'll probably savor that TV show you love that much more.

That's what I'll help you do in the next 4 minutes of reading. Let’s dive in!

Re-design the way you use screens at home

To assess your screen time, you first need to make sure you don’t make a few of the most common mistakes:

Mistake 1: Don't make it a guilt thing

People use screens all the time. You're not alone. It's become the basis of how we work and enjoy our downtime.

This is not about feeling bad, but seeing what's going on so you can make informed choices to design the homelife you want.

Mistake 2: Be specific about your screen time, not vague:

One person says they watch TV "every once in a while." And another says they watch TV "10 hours per week." (Which is a strong maybe since the U.S. national average is about 18 hours/week according to Statista.)

Notice the difference between every once in a while and a specific number.

If you want to explore making changes about your screen time, it helps to get specific. As the old saying goes "what's unmeasured is unmanaged."

Consider using my "Visualize your time" tool to get specific.

Mistake 3: The scorched pixel approach.

Look, let me be clear: this isn't about you not using screens.

Instead of ending your screen use, what if you could re-design the way you intentionally use screens in your life? (More on this in a sec...)

All these possible mistakes to say: people are complex. You both want changes to your screen usage, yet also fall into traps of being over-guilty, vague, or too all-or-nothing.

And as a result, you keep yourself stuck in a pendulum-swinging relationship with tech, media, and entertainment—unstable as a grade school romance.

Before that mood swing becomes your prototype for a healthy relationship with screens, do this:

1. Take note of your screen time at home—phones, TV, tablets, computer, etc.

The very first step to redesigning your relationship with screens at home is knowing your time on screens.

As I wrote before, being vague about your screen time is actually a strange way to hide.

The idea is that if we don't really know how distracted we are, we don't have to be responsible for it. We get to keep drifting into auto-play bliss.

Instead, do the easy first step of noticing your screen time.

For example, you might notice your at-home screen time looks like this:

• TV—2 hrs/day

• Phone—5 hrs/day

• Computer/tablet—6 hrs/day

• Total screen time = 13hrs/day (including times when dual screening; e.g., phone and TV at the same time)

When you get to that level of specificity, you might find you're happy with the number or it might shock you. This will help you move into step 2.

2. Identify your screen-time moments of weakness.

Let's say you have noted your screen time and want to change it. Next step is finding pivotal moments of weakness.

Why that pivotal moment?

If you can intervene in that moment of choice—such as grabbing your phone to check Instagram while watching The Celebrity Mole—then you can keep yourself from drifting into screen overload.

Some might think: "It'll only be a second to check Twitter." But then 2 hours go by and you missed the ending to your roommate's story. They're now in bed and wondering where you went in the middle of their conversation.

You imagine it's a second, but moments of weakness become a drift into screen overload.

Instead, try any of these:

1. Remove the option. Keep your phone, computer, or TV remote in an abnormal place.

2. Create agreements. For example, with roommates or a partner, you can set up an agreement to ask permission to use a phone while at the dinner table.

3. Substitute a greater alternative. The blue light & dopamine hits of devices keep you wired and addicted by design. Fight fire with fire and create a greater substitute, like going for a walk or savoring an amazing dinner.

When you identify your moments of weakness, you can stop the drift into screen overload by removing the option, creating agreements, or substituting awesome alternatives.

3. An example: a DIY way to cover your TV with art.

And finally, here's a real-life way to decrease your screen time that's worked for me!

• The problem: watching too much TV & wanting to limit screen time for our infant

• The moment of weakness: seeing the TV, begging for me to pay attention to it like a neglected pet

• The creative solution...

Hang a painting over your TV.

I know! Crazy. Simple. Weird. But it works!

If you have a TV in your living room mounted on the wall, then it serves as a visual reminder of distraction. With each glimpse, that show you're streaming beckons. It's a piece of furniture telling you to pay attention to it.

And some think they have enough willpower to resist it, but sadly, nearly no one really does.

Remove the physical reminder to watch shows by covering your screen. Make it a few steps more inconvenient to binge Survivor. And do it by adding an inspiring substitute.

How to do it:

My wife & I bought a canvas printed piece of artwork from Mint. It's from a local Oakland artist we love.

After getting the canvas print, we mounted a set of simple L-hooks on the upper frame. We added felt scratch-preventers to keep our walls safe.

And now we don't see our TV (and stumble into hours of watching), but see our beautiful painting.

Give it a try and let me know what you think!

We covered:

1. Mistakes people make when redesigning their screen time

2. Noticing your screen time

3. Identifying your moments of weakness

4. Hanging art over your wall-mounted TV

That’s it!

As always, thanks for reading. Hit reply or comment to let me know what you found most helpful this week—I’d love to hear from you!

See you next Tuesday. Until then, keep on making,

Matt Barrios

PS: Share this newsletter to help others design a homelife they love.